Saturday, January 29, 2011

New Blog

This blog has been pretty much abandoned... maybe I'll post again sometime... who knows.  Here's our blog for Hawaii.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Wedding, episode 2... Honeymoon!

One month later, I continue writing about the wedding.  I'll have to be less detailed to be able to write about all the events, honeymoon, etc... there's just no time, and the longer I wait, the more I forget!

So... I left off at the luncheon.  The luncheon was amazing.  Mom had found the place, and it was beautiful, and the food was delicious.  Heidi and I and our parents were at the head table.  We waited a while for people to show up, and then Dad got on the mic, welcomed everyone, gave Heidi and I chance to say something, and then Uncle Steve said the blessing on the food.  I wish I had thought more about what I wanted to say, but I recently watched the video (Andy did a great job) and I think I did okay.  :)  I was just really happy to be married, and loved having so many family and friends around.  During the meal, Mike Morris made a toast.  He talked about how he and I have had a lot of experiences waiting in line... at a Weird Al concert, in the standby line for the Late Show with David Letterman, and then winning the same-day ticket lottery for Wicked.  He compared it to the people we've dated, disappointments, times we thought it would work out, and said that "Heidi is your broadway.  You have won the lottery."  It was a great toast, and once again, thanks to Andy for getting it on video.

One of the highlights of the luncheon for me was talking to Charlie.  I hadn't seen him in a long time, and it was great to catch up a little bit.

After the luncheon, we got all the framed pictures (for the reception) from Lindsay.  When I was narrowing them down, it seemed like I chose so FEW pictures, and then when I saw them all framed, I realized I had picked so MANY!  Now our house is a Heidi and Brett shrine... or an advertisement for Jenny Hansen's photography.  :)  I loved having all those pictures.  Anyway, we got the pictures from Lindsay and my suit from my Dad, and then we sat in the car for a while just talking.  When my parents were leaving (Dad driving), they circled around our car honestly three or four times, and my dad was smiling and nodding in a sort of "I like what I see!" gesture.  Heidi and I were laughing so much.  My parents are the best.

We went straight from the luncheon to a gas station... in our tux and dress.  I didn't have much gas, and definitely didn't want to stop between the reception and the honeymoon.  The guy at the next pump saw my tux, and Heidi in the car in her dress, and asked if we had just gotten married.  I told him we had been married for just a few hours, and he congratulated me and wished us well.  :)  Here's a picture I took with my phone at the gas station... nevermind the filthy windshield.

Then we drove to Garden Park Ward to deliver the pictures and help set things up.  IT... LOOKED... AMAZING!!!  Robin Lewis, Heidi's family's friend, along with Julie Crowell (I think?) had put together the most incredibly beautiful reception.  Wow.  I'll have to post pictures once I get them (Heidi and I still haven't told Jenny which pictures we want edited... I'm telling you, life has suddenly gotten SO DANG BUSY it's insane).  I won't take time to describe - thank goodness for pictures - but it was incredible.

We helped set things up until people started arriving, and then we made our way to "the line" to greet people as they came in.  We had talked about having a line for about an hour... nope.  We stood in line for the whole reception.  When someone came to ask if we were going to cut the cake, I couldn't believe it was 9:00 already.  It would have been nice to be able to sit down, talk to my groomsmen some more, eat some food, etc., but it was so fun meeting and greeting people, introducing and being introduced, that the time went by really fast.

The reception is definitely something I wish we could do over again and again.  There were SO many people to see, and so many of them that I wished I could have spent more time with.  Some people were there that I didn't expect, and it meant a lot to me that they showed up.  Then there were really good, close friends that I hadn't seen in a while, like Charlie and Shannon.  Like I said, I'm glad I got to talk to Charlie a bit at the reception.  Then of course there were my groomsmen.  We got some good photo booth pictures, minus JD and Kent, but it would have been fun to just be able to sit down with those guys for a while.  Anyway, it was a really great reception.  And the weather all day and night was so nice!

Robin had set aside some salad for us.  Side note - I'm not sure if I believe in Robin.  I think she's kind of like Santa Claus - a legend of someone who is so incredibly giving and somehow capable of being in a million places at once, but can't possibly REALLY do all the things she supposedly does.  I don't know how she did it.  She was there for the bridals, loaned Heidi her daughter's dress, made the bouquets and boutenirs (I have stopped caring how to spell that word), prepared everything for the reception (centerpieces, tables, lights, linens, candles, food, etc. etc. etc.).  She and Julie did such an amazing job, and we had a lot of great conversations with Robin, too.  She is our hero.  And she had set aside salad for us.  We gratefully ate it, and headed over to the "photo booth" for some fun pictures before we went next door to Heidi's grandparents' house to change our clothes.  Then we were off on the honeymoon.  Heidi's dad returned my tux for me, which was a huge favor because it needed to be returned while we were on our honeymoon.

The drive out to our honeymoon... is hard to remember, actually.  I remember I was tired, and happy, and relieved.  There was SO much stress leading up to the wedding, and a honeymoon was exactly what we needed.  Finally we were married, all the stress was over, our families were taking care of the cleanup, and we just got to drive away to Park City for a few days of zero stress.  Our honeymoon was AMAZING!  I'm so glad we didn't go somewhere far away.  I'm sure that feeling is influenced by the fact that we didn't have a lot of time for a honeymoon because Heidi's in school.  But even if we had had a week or more, it was nice to have our car and be in a place we were somewhat familiar with.  We were never lost, and I remember feeling carefree and relaxed pretty much all the time.  So... here's what we did!

First of all, we stayed at the Grand Summit Lodge at The Canyons resort.  They accidentally upgraded us to a deluxe king suite!  Totally awesome!  I'm having trouble with a video upload, so I'll just put it on YouTube and add the link.  Anyway, it was awesome.  We got a call on Monday informing us of the mistake.  They were going to kick us out of the "suite" part of our room and give us the "deluxe king guestroom" we had reserved.  Or, they said, we could keep the suite for an extra $10 a night.  Now... granted our honeymoon was a gift from my mom and dad, this still would have been an easy decision even with my own money.  TEN DOLLARS for an upgrade that definitely should have cost hundreds?  Yes please!  So we had the suite the whole time, and LOVED it.

We got there VERY late Saturday night, and managed to find a ward on Sunday that met late enough that we could get out of bed and make it to sacrament meeting.  It was fast Sunday, and we both bore our testimonies.  It had been a hugely spiritually significant week, with Heidi receiving temple ordinances for the first time, and of course both of us having a sealing pronounced on us for the first (and only) time.  We met some nice people there, but we were pretty anxious to get back to the hotel for a much-needed four hour nap.  Before that, though, we stopped to pick up some food.  We would have liked to avoid buying food on Sunday, but it was either that or go hungry, so we opted for takeout... from Ruby Tuesday.  Oooooh my gosh... we went back there later another day and both ordered the same things again.  I had lobster tail and steak, and Heidi had salmon.  YUM.  That night, I stopped by a Burger King and Redbox and brought back dinner and a movie... turns out Burger King has some seriously good non-burger food... salads and chicken sandwiches.  We went back there another day, too.

Monday morning we had room service breakfast (oh yum).

Then we went to the Park City resort and got a park pass for the alpine slide, zip line, coaster, and bunjee trampoline.  The first thing we did was the alpine slide, and I BAILED!  I should have taken it a little more slowly the first time, I guess.  I crashed, but didn't come out of the slide.  Instead, I slid along FOREVER with the sled half under me.  The side of me that wasn't on the sled got some major rub burns on my knee and shoulder, and a little bit on my hand.  My knee still isn't fully healed.  Ugh... that was not fun.  But we got some help (insert laugh) from a park staffer who asked if he could just give us some bandages because if he did the bandaging he'd have to fill out some paperwork.  Uh, yeah... I think we'll do it ourselves.

We went on the coaster once before we learned that we could ride on one car together... by the end of the day we must have gone on it three more times.  SO FUN!  We also did the zip line a couple times.  We had such a good time... and our camera broke... so we used some gift money and bought a new one later that night.  The last thing we did on the hill was the bunjee trampoline.  I had always wanted to do that, and I was EXACTLY the max allowable weight according to the scale I had noticed and stepped on at the top of the zip line (200 lbs... I think it was a little low, but hey, it's their scale, and it allowed me to go on the bunjee trampoline!).  It was really fun, but the highlight of the bunjee trampoline was Heidi's face at the apex of her jumps!  Oh my GOSH so funny!  Her eyes got so big every time!  We both did a bunch of backflips, and I had sore abs the next day.

After our Park Pass time was up, we went to a sushi place we had found online, ordered some takeout, and went back to the hotel.  I think I must have showered, or maybe I was cleaning up my wounds, I can't remember, but I was distracted for a little while, and when I came into the living/dining room, Heidi had set up our food all nicely on the table.  :)

Tuesday we went on a HOT AIR BALLOON!  We had called around the day before and found a company that would give us a discount.  I said on the phone, "We don't have money, but we're pretending that we do because it's our honeymoon."  The pilot was really nice, and I asked on the phone if I could help him setup the balloon, which he was happy to allow.  Here are some pictures:

And here we are taking off:

It was a beautiful day, and the people in the balloon with us were really nice.  There was an older couple who had been married for I don't remember how many years.  Heidi asked if they had any advice, and the man said, "Just be patient with him.  He'll come around."  :)

After the hot air balloon had landed, it was still pretty early in the morning, so we went to breakfast at Treasure Mountain Inn.  Yummmm.  Then we went back to the hotel for a while, took a nap, and debated how we would spend our $200 gift card, which was part of the hotel package we had chosen for our honeymoon ($50 for each night).  We decided to get a couples Swedish massage at the spa, and wow... that was a good choice!  Holy canoli.  First we went and changed into robes, and then we sat down in the "relaxing room" on a nice sofa and drank some lemon water.  Then our massage therapists came in, introduced themselves, and led us to a dimly lit room with some kind of aromatherapy scents going on, relaxing music with nature sounds, and two massage tables.  They left to allow us to get between the sheets on the tables, and then they came back in and gave us 60-minute, full body massages.  I had to give a warning about my alpine slide injuries, and she did a good job avoiding them.  Oh my goodness... when they were done, Heidi and I didn't want to move.  It was amazing.  After that, we went back into the relaxing room, and they had set up a plate with a HUGE piece of chocolate cake, two forks, and rose petals everywhere!  And there was a card for us, too.  We sat and ate cake for a little while, and then took the rest of it back to our room.  Oh man... that massage was amazing.  We went back to Ruby Tuesday that night, pretty late, and then back to the room and to bed.

Wednesday was the last day of our honeymoon.  We went to Treasure Mountain Inn again for breakfast, and then back to Park City Resort to ride the lift aaaalll the way to the top, where we went hiking.  We didn't end up hiking very far, because there's an old mining facility up there that we explored.  It was all closed and locked, but part of the wall was broken open, so we went through and climbed down to the floor.  It was so old and kind of creepy and fun!  Here are some pictures...

 It was darker in there than it looks... the flash... well... did its job.  After exploring for a while, we climbed back out and hiked for a while.  We went to a garage type building where they had a lot of snow grooming equipment and (thankfully) they let me use their bathroom.  That made the rest of the hiking much more enjoyable than it would have been!

Eventually, we knew it was getting late enough that we needed to make our way back to the lift.  We had ridden that lift lots of times for the alpine slide and zip line, but we had never ridden it facing down the mountain... the view was amazing!  And we saw some deer on our way down.  It was a great end to the honeymoon - a nice, slow ride down the lift with an amazing view and lots of time to talk about the fun we'd had.

We got back to the car, drove back to Ogden, and decided we'd have one last "honeymoon meal" from Tona, which is where we met.  We called ahead, got takeout, and took it home.  I carried Heidi across the threshhold, and we went downstairs to our apartment to find JD and Natasha's paint job in our bedroom!  Natasha was also in the process of hanging curtains.  It looked so nice... and then we opened Aunt Marlene's gift (hoping it was a painting, and it was!).  We hung that on the wall of our bedroom, and it was nice to have such a good-looking bedroom to come home to.

We ate our sushi, and then started facing all the real-life stuff we had so blissfully ignored for four days.  :)

It was such a great honeymoon.  Mom and Dad, thank you.

And Heidi, I LOVE YOU!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My letter to Priceline

Dear Senior Vice President:

I recently had an incredibly frustrating experience with Priceline. I reserved a rental car for my wife so she could pick it up in Salt Lake City on her way home from Sacramento, where I had to stay with our car for work. Upon arrival, she found that she could not pick up the rental car because I had reserved it with my credit card, and she has no credit card. The rental agency would not allow me to pay for her rental. Fortunately, my parents drove her home, and her parents loaned her their car for a week.

The frustration began when I called Priceline for a refund of the $66.00 charge I had received for insurance on the rental car. I spoke with two representatives who religiously repeated the same mantra, “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Fairbourn, but we cannot issue a refund.”

In summary, I paid $66.00 for insurance on a rental car that we were not able to pick up, and Priceline will not issue a refund or even a $66.00 credit toward a future Priceline reservation!

I know you understand the value of word-of-mouth marketing, especially in today’s world of online social networks. I frequently receive emails and Facebook messages from friends seeking travel advice. I am 27 years old, I have traveled to fifteen countries in the last four years for education and leisure, and I am very good at traveling on a budget. I also travel at least once per month for work. I have often used and recommended your website for comparing rates and fares, but now I will actively warn against it.

For example, after my frustrating experience, I posted my story in response to the Facebook question, “Have people had bad experiences with Priceline?” Also, I have begun posting status updates and links to warn my 857 friends about the risk of booking through Priceline (namely, if something goes wrong, you will not get a refund). I would love to follow up my warnings with a happy story about how Priceline recognized the problem and made it up to me, but in the meantime, I will continue to warn my friends that Priceline is “very sorry for the inconvenience” of having charged me $66.00 for nothing.

In closing, here are my suggestions:

  1. Refund my insurance payment.
  2. Revise your rental car reservation procedure. When someone books a rental car, and the name of the driver does not match the payment information, display a dialog box warning about payment on pickup. Of course, include a link to the fine print about acceptable forms of payment.
  3. Make this up to me. I would recommend a credit toward a future reservation (in addition to the refund), because that is the only way I will use or recommend Priceline again.


Brett Fairbourn

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Wedding, etc.

Yeah, with a title like that, you know this is going to be a long post... deep breath...
I'm sitting in the Howard Johnson hotel in Rocklin. I went to church, and I caught up on Survivor... which might be my second choice for a religion. Ah crap, we learned about idol worship today. Church was really good, and I needed it because I was so sad to see Heidi leave today. She's back in Utah by now... or soon. Driving with my parents. Anyway... let's go back a couple weeks...

The week of the wedding was STRESSFUL of course. Heidi and I had a couple of rough days, and then one of the most comforting conversations I've ever experienced. (Now I'm hesitating... maybe I should be writing in my journal instead of the blog... well I've got a week here alone, so I'll copy this into my journal and fill in details later). Ahem... so, we had a great conversation where we worked things out. I love her so much.

The day before the wedding, I went to Melissa's house for a delicious breakfast that I'm afraid I didn't get to enjoy as much as I would have liked! Lindsay organized the event, and it was great to see a lot of my family. Plus I needed them... there was a lot to get done and I knew they would help. Thank you, siblings and parents. Melissa submitted a picture order to Costco, Julie picked up the prints, Lindsay picked up the frames... if I try to list what people did, I'll forget something. I just had a lot of help. Thank you.

Haha... one detail I might forget one day if I don't write it down is that Heidi had moved her bed into our (now "our") house, and she slept for two (?) nights on couch cushions pinned in the corner of her room by a laundry basket. Thank goodness Scott Bell came over with his Blazer and helped me move a mattress to her house. I ended up moving it back by myself... it fits in the civic! But it was more fun to have Scott's help, and Heidi and I got to talk to him for a while, too.

The night before the wedding, Heidi was over until very late/early moving stuff in, packing for the honeymoon, etc. The next morning, I found a card she had left for me. It was the greatest start to the day. Well actually, the START to the day was my phone alarm... and 30 seconds later JD knocking on my bedroom door saying "Natasha made breakfast if you want some!" Oh wow... 60 seconds earlier and it would not have been as cool. But that timing was PERFECT, and breakfast was my favorite - French toast. For those who don't know, JD and Natasha are our friends and landlords that live upstairs. We rent their basement. What a great start to the day. And THEN I found the card, which included a list of 27 (plus more in the margins) reasons why Heidi loves me... written two weeks after the first time we spent any time together. She had saved it, and gave it to me the morning of our wedding. It was wonderful.

I got ready to go, and then had to bring Heidi her dress at Quinn and Kristy's. So I saw her, hugged her, and said, "Well aren't we just breaking all the rules?" We also broke the rule about not seeing her in her wedding dress when we took bridals/groomals. So we're rebels, what can I say? Then we drove down to American Fork. I was in my car by myself, and the Bates (Quinn and Kristy) had a carfull right behind me, including my Heidi, who was singing "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of her lungs, I hear. :)

We arrived at the temple a bit early... perfect. We waited by the recommend desk for a while, and I saw Bishop and Sister Ferrin arrive. I love them. A few other people arrived, and then we got escorted back to a little office where they made sure they had our information correct, checked our marriage license, etc. Before long we were all dressed in our temple clothes, waiting in the celestial room. As it turned out, we got to sit together in the celestial room for almost an hour because Heidi's grandparents were running late. It was really nice to have all that peaceful, yet anxious time together in the celestial room before our sealing.

Finally it was time to go in. We stopped in the hallway outside the sealing room to meet our sealer - George D. Durrant. I recognized the name, but didn't realize it was actually the same man that my dad and I had listened to during road trips. We hadn't requested anybody, so we were just meeting whichever sealer had been assigned to us. What did he say to us out in the hall? Oh yeah... I remember some... he told us the basic agenda. We sit in the little bench, he talks for a while, then when we actually do the sealing ordinance, he told us we could look at him or at each other, it didn't matter. He said it might be nice to look at each other when we say "Yes," but again, it didn't matter. He was so nice. When we walked into the sealing room, he shook mom's hand, and mom's reaction confirmed that his name wasn't just familiar - he was the guy with the talk tapes. :)

He said so many great things during the sealing, and he was definitely inspired. He mentioned some things that were so personal to Heidi and I (journal this part), and he talked about opportunities and scenarios we'd face in our future together. I felt like he talked about me a lot, and he said some very complimentary things, but I kind of felt like Heidi was getting left out. I talked to my dad about that afterward, and he pointed out that Brother Durrant had focused on me because of the blessing and opportunity and responsibility I had to be married to Heidi. That's true. I was definitely the luckiest and most honored person in that room! Anyway, a lot of it was personal and sacred, so I'll save it for the journal. Those of you who were there, please send me an email with what you remember from the sealing. We want to remember as much of it as we can. It was a wonderful, beautiful sealing. Most people reading this already know that in temple marriages, we don't say "I do." We just say, "Yes." Well, when I proposed to Heidi, her response was three distinct nods and a whispered, "Yes" with a huge smile on her face. She did the same thing in the temple, and it was our own secret memory right in the middle of our sealing. I love her for thinking of things like that! I loved knowing that this was it... this was making it official. We were getting married... not in a futuristic "we're going to get married" sense, but we were actually in the ceremony and ordinance, getting married.

After the ceremony, we got to greet and hug everyone as they left the room. Heidi's dad hugged me and said, "Now it starts. Now it's your job to take care of her." I said, "I will work very, very hard." Bishop Henrie may have looked happier than anybody... although he usually does. :) He is such a great man. It was so great to hug each of my siblings. When Julie and Chester were preparing for their sealing a few years ago... wow, more than a few, Julie told me about it by "inviting herself to my wedding." She called me in the middle of a crappy day of pest control sales, and told me she'd be at my wedding because she and Chester were going to the temple. I've lived in Julie's basement, and she has really helped me a lot during the hardest times of my life, so it felt like a team victory when I got to hug her in the temple. We both knew that we both made it... and now I'm thinking about how much I'll miss my family when we're in Hawaii... but I'm sure that thought is harder to bear right now because I'm also away from Heidi. Anyway, back to the happiness! The sealing was wonderful. After we hugged everybody, we went out into the hall to figure out where we were going next. The lady that was helping Heidi was one of the first to greet us, and I said, "Sister [forgot her name], I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Heidi." :) She guided us to an elevator, and then to the dressing rooms.

After I put on my tux and checked the mirror, the man that was helping me showed me a seat where I'd wait til Heidi was ready. It wasn't long, and one of the temple workers said, "Well, I'll say you did better than the last guy. He was waiting forever!" Hahaha... I thought that was pretty funny.

I went out to meet Heidi, and of course she looked amazing in her wedding dress. We walked out past the recommend desk and into the foyer, but before we went outside we practiced a dip... AW now everyone knows we planned that. :) But hey, that's not a moment you want to mess up! We walked out the doors, people cheered (which they're not supposed to do at the temple... shame shame), we hugged, kissed, dipped, kissed, got our pictures taken, kissed, etc. I love the picture Melissa posted of Heidi and I hugging Veronica and Austin.

Holy crap uploading pictures on this blog makes me want to smash things. I'll post all the pictures at the end, and they'll probably all end up at the top.

...regaining composure........

So... we had a bunch of pictures taken, and Andy started videoing stuff. We still haven't watched the result, but I'm really looking forward to it. During the week leading up to the wedding, Heidi faced a lot of unnecessary stress imposed by people who... were trying to be helpful? And aside from that, my only sadness was that Andy had moved out. I hardly saw him during the pre-wedding days, and it was weird to know he wasn't my roommate anymore, and never would be. The happiest times of my life have been when I lived with Andy... until now, of course. But even saying that makes me a little sad. But it's not that big of a deal, really. Of course we'll always be good friends and have plenty of opportunities to do stupid, funny, adventurous, and/or lazy things. The end of an era, the beginning of a better one.

Anyway, after the pictures we went to the luncheon. I had forgotten to look up that address, but fortunately when we pulled over to text/call/look at the map, Heidi's parents passed us, and we followed them to the luncheon.

Holy moley... that might have to be all for now. I've been typing my fingers off, and we just got to the luncheon! More later tonight, or possibly tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Gay Marriage

This is a message I wrote to a friend of mine with whom I had been debating prop 8.

Hey [name], sorry for the delay, I spent the weekend at my fiancee’s grandparents’ cabin with no internet or cell coverage… glorious. I actually spent a lot of time thinking about the facebook thread we had going and realized something: my goal should be to understand your point of view. We are not going to convince each other of anything, but we can try to understand each other. So, in that light, I’d like to share my point of view with you, just for your understanding.

First, I believe in God. In fact, I know God is real, and he is my father. I know that he loves all His children. He doesn’t pick favorites, but he has particular compassion for those who are ridiculed, abused, misunderstood, etc., because his only “begotten son” was treated that way. Jesus Christ suffered not only for our sins, but also, in a very personal way, he felt our heartaches, loneliness, depression, and isolation.

Because God loves us, he has given us guidelines that will lead us to the greatest happiness, and his plan for us centers on families. In fact, He intends for our family relationships to last forever, even after this life. In short, the purpose of life is family. Understandably then, many of the guidelines He has given us revolve around the formation of families and the rearing of children. One of these guidelines is that marriage is between a man and a woman. Others include the sacred nature of the sexual experience, which is to be reserved for expression between a husband and wife who are completely committed to each other. Additionally, children have a right to be born within the bonds of matrimony and to be reared by a father and mother who love each other, and love their children. Of course, these ideals are unrealized for many families, even many of those who believe in them, but that does not diminish their value or validity.

I’m trying not to be too long winded, so I think I’ll skip to the thought that might have come to your mind two paragraphs ago… “This guy is a dyed-in-the-wool product of his religion.” The fact is, I know of God’s existence, his love, and his plan through personal communication with Him – my own, independent experience. I pray, and He answers. He speaks to my spirit in a way that is difficult to describe, but impossible to truthfully deny. Sometimes it has been with specific words, but usually it’s with feelings and promptings that I have come to recognize. To borrow an analogy, it’s like trying to explain the taste of salt. When you taste salt, you know it is salt. You don’t “think” it is salt, or want it so badly that you convince yourself that it is salt, you just know it is salt, even though you can’t quite describe it to someone who has never tasted it. God is real; he cares about us, and he has a plan for us. I know it because, spiritually speaking, I have tasted salt… and I taste it often.

That’s pretty much it, but I want you to understand how this translates into the topic at hand. Again, I’m not trying to convince you of anything, just explaining my point of view.

Given the framework above, here are some of the “societal” reasons why I believe Mormons supported prop 8.

- Schools/Children. If same-sex marriage is legalized, then schools will undoubtedly be obligated to contain curriculum about homosexuality. At what age do we introduce stories with same-sex parents? Immediately, of course, because all marriages are equally valid. So now Goldilocks will encounter Mama Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear. Instantly parents are obligated to start some degree of sex education long before it would be appropriate (except, sadly, for a “good touch/bad touch” lesson for the kid’s protection). So then what happens to the kid who blurts out, “My mom said it’s not good for two boys to get married.” It will be handled the same as if the kid said, “My mom said it’s not good to be Mexican.” It becomes unacceptable to believe in a particular theology, and freedom of religion is restrained in the area of sexuality.

- Churches. Will churches be obligated to perform same-sex marriages? This seems unlikely, but certainly conceivable. You can see why this thought would spread quickly and strengthen pro-8 opinions, despite its unlikelihood.

- Pandora’s Box. If we redefine “marriage,” and thus, “family,” then the new definitions are not final. What about three people who fall in love? It would be unconstitutional to deny them marriage because their love does not follow the “traditional” 1:1 ratio.

Anyway, I hope this helps you understand how Mormons can support prop 8 and still claim not to be haters. We believe that everyone in the world is a beloved child of a compassionate Father. Countless gays (and their loved ones) have suffered at the hands of uncompassionate tormentors. That is not right, and I firmly believe that 1) Jesus Christ has felt their pain, and 2) Abusers and tormentors will stand accountable to God for their mistreatment of His children. I also believe that God has given us guidelines that will lead us to eternal happiness in eternal families if we follow them, and sometimes (often) those guidelines go against our natural inclinations and desires. Nevertheless, I trust and follow God to the best of my ability, and I personally believe in the principles taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

I was going to reread your posts, and anything else you’d like to post, but I see the original post is gone. I’d love to read a message explaining your “personal framework” and point of view, if you want to write one. If it’s easier to explain your point of view by referring to mine, that’s fine, but I’m more interested in your personal thoughts than your reaction to mine, because I know we disagree.

~ Brett

p.s. responses to posts that I remember:

From you: I would be interested in knowing where you found those quotes, and the one you posted originally. There are thousands of anti-Mormon websites, and many of them seem to care little for honest research. Perhaps you already know, most the men you named were born in the 1800s. You named one person who is alive, but the quote you attributed to him actually came from Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008). I am not totally discounting your quotes. Maybe they are all real. I’m just pointing out why I ask for references, especially when LDS leaders are quoted, and double especially when the quotes are short and unfamiliar. If you have references (titles/dates of addresses, etc.), you can check them at

From [other name]: Lots of good info, especially about the medical situation. I’ll look into that. I would respond about one thing – when names of prop 8 contributors were published, their houses were attacked and jobs were lost. Some of my friends hired private security to protect their home. I think you can understand why they’d try to prevent that by un-publishing their names. But Mormons are not shy about the principles stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

p.p.s. [Name], you’re one of the very best. I mean that. I hope we can disagree and still respect each other’s views, and be friends. I’d still risk my life in the face of [high school bully] for you if I had the chance! :)

Friday, September 3, 2010

Quick post

Yeah, it's called "Quick post," but for me it will be sllllloooowww due to my one-handedness.

Just thought I should write a little, since this is such an important part of my life and I haven't written any of it. It'll be choppy and business-like... takes too long to do more.

I should be working, but... see above. Important time!

I love Heidi. Last night we were playing Monopoly with her roommate, Jessica, when her other roommate, Kiley joined in our conversation. We were talking about relationships, about Heidi and I, about Kiley and her boyfriend, etc. Kiley's facing big decisions, and I gave my 2 cents. Kiley said, "You and Heidi are so alike!" I said, "Why, because I suggested a book you could read?" Kiley laughed and said, "EXACTLY!" :) I've been thinking about that (about similarities between me and Heidi), and I realized Kiley is right. We're really similar. I noticed a similarity today that made me laugh. It made me laugh because it was something that Heidi did that bothered me... and then it dawned on me - I DO THAT ALL THE TIME!!

Ready for it?

Heidi called me about numbers for the luncheon, and I couldn't give her a definite answer because we need to look over our list together and take care of some of the question marks. After a slight stall in the progress of the topic, she said "We'll just talk about it later" and then got off the phone pretty quickly. She was at work, just got there from school, has her shower tonight, plus she's not feeling well, and she simply couldn't spare the time just sitting there on the phone not making progress on anything. I felt annoyed for two seconds... then I realized how Brett-like that was of her, and laughed! And, in retrospect, she said "I love you" before we got off the phone, and I don't think I did, because I was playing the "shocked at your abruptness" role.

I remember one day when I must have given Heidi at least three "Okaythat'sfinegottagonowbye" conversation enders, and they were pretty dang rude. I was stressed, and the phone was just an obstacle to my next objective. Anyway, I hadn't really thought that much about how alike Heidi and I are, so I'm glad Kiley pointed it out. I look forward to finding more ways we are alike, especially when it's a mote and beam situation!

She is the greatest person in the world... haha... I don't mean for that to follow TOO closely after "ways we are alike," although I must say, if Heidi Evans has chosen to marry me, I must be doing something right. I can't do this topic justice right now with one hand... (so Igottagonowbye). :) I'll just mention a couple things. First, monopoly last night. I tried to veto the board game idea, but it was just my ploy to see if Heidi really wanted to play, or if she was just trying to make me happy. I asked if we could please watch a movie instead of playing the game, and she said no. Then she started fingering the plastic on the monopoly game (it was new), and said, "Am I going to get in trouble if I open this?" What a trickster! But we were both doing the same thing to each other (I think!). We were both pretending we wanted something else in order to get the other person to be a little more selfish. Haha, it sounds so funny writing this out! My point is this: I hate playing games with begrudging partners. If you're going to roll your eyes when I play competitively, because you actually don't care about the stupid game, then you should have told me you thought it was stupid/boring/whatever, and we wouldn't have played! But Heidi shot fire out of her eyes while she bid against me in property auctions, and I felt threatened! It was serious business between the laughs, and she wanted to win. THAT MAKES IT FUN!!! And I still don't know if she wanted to play in the first place! We didn't finish the game, but I look forward to the next one. She is a really, really fun game partner! :)

...and that was just one reason she's so wonderful. It also illuminated more similarities between us. I AM SO EXCITED TO BE MARRIED TO THIS WOMAN!!!

The other thing I wanted to write about was my trip to CA, and Heidi's visit. Since I can't seem to be brief, even with one hand, I'll make it a bullet list:

  • Dad drove with me to CA!
  • The week was stressful in many ways
  • Heidi got bumped to a later flight & got to visit Melissa with Kristy
  • I stayed at the hotel next door, and came back to an OCCUPIED room the second night! Got a free night out of that mix-up... $50 for two nights!
  • We went to Blue Nami twice! Discovered bbq albacore... oh yum
  • Went to the Sacramento Temple, ran into friends & made new ones. Such a great temple visit
  • Visited Casa Roble (my high school) and found Mr. Lange prepping his room for the new school year. He took lots of time to talk with us, showed us Student Government scrapbooks that I was in, opened the library so we could see my picture on the wall... what a great visit, and what a great man.
  • Drove by Woodbridge & Oak Cove Ct. houses
  • Visited Scott & Cherrie
  • Went to Woodbridge park, fed killer geese, walked around the pond (lake?), avoided the duck patrol, met the nicest, cutest kid walking his dog.
  • Rented Valkyrie, paused it to talk, and talked too long to start it again
  • Took Highway 50 through Tahoe on the way back
  • Renamed the days of the week
  • Made weird noises for each seam in the road
  • Played 20 questions - Heidi stumped me with "American Flag"
It was such a great trip, especially considering Heidi arrived late Friday night, and we started driving back on Sunday morning.

I love Heidi so much. 22 days til she's my wife!!

p.s. all the "one-handed" talk is due to my accidentally putting my hand through a window, severing a tendon and nerve, and nicking another tendon. Surgery and lots of physical therapy... it's healing and rehabilitating well.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Countdown to the Wedding!

Just in case you were wondering, this is how long until the sealing ceremony begins in the Mount Timpanogos Temple.

Click Here to See the Countdown!